An abusive relationship is like walking on eggshells all the time. You can’t tell what could provoke your partner’s temper while the fear wears you down daily. However, this is a fact, there is no need for you to stay. Walking out of such a relationship is the most courageous act that one can ever take, and with a well-laid plan in place, it can be done without endangering yourself.
How to Leave an Abusive Relationship Safely?
Gather Your Strength and Knowledge
First things first – acknowledge that someone is abusing you. It could come through verbal put-downs, threats, control, or physical violence, but however it comes, you should recognize it as abuse.
Next step – educate yourself. There are many online resources about abuse dynamics and help in creating safety plans, too. These include contact details of local refuges and support groups.
Building Your Escape Route (Literally)
It is essential to have somewhere safe to go. Think seriously about spending time at a close friend’s residence or at a family member’s house or going into one of those domestic violence shelters meant for victims’ safety purposes only. Do not let your abuser know your plans since secrecy will guarantee a safe escape.
Pack a small bag with essentials like ID papers (passport, birth certificates), medicine, some cash, and clothes for emergency exit, only making sure it is hidden where the abuser wouldn’t bother looking.
Securing Your Digital World
Technology can be used by perpetrators to track or eavesdrop on you. Change passwords for email addresses, social media accounts and even bank transactions if possible. Use a special cell phone during your escape just for calling people who are trusted.
Turn off location settings on both your phone and computer. Be cautious when using shared devices online. Do not forget that deleted messages may sometimes still be retrieved.
Safety First: Legal Measures
Think about getting a restraining order. This can legally prevent them from contacting you and provide some peace of mind. But it is important to understand that a protective order cannot guarantee safety alone, therefore take other precautions.
When you have children, engage an attorney to discuss the child custody agreement and legal protection for them.
Building Your Support System
Leaving an abusive relationship can be a lonely affair, but it doesn’t have to be so. You can confide in a trusted person, such as your family member, friend, or therapist. Having a support system helps emotionally as well as practically during your escape and beyond.
Domestic violence shelters offer life-saving support, including temporary accommodation, counseling, and legal services.
Prepare Yourself for The Day of Escape
Choose a time when your abuser is least likely to be home. Get help from someone you trust who will wait nearby till you pack up everything quickly but safely.
Remember that staying safe should be your top priority. Never argue or try reasoning with your abuser. Immediately call the police if threatened.
