Traumatic relationships leave an indelible mark. They can be emotionally sapping and bewildering and make it hard to see any way out. But here is the best part. You can break free and have a healthier future going forward.
It Starts With You Recognizing the Red Flags
The first step is recognizing the trauma. Emotional manipulation, threats, controlling behavior, or even physical abuse are all red flags. In some cases, it starts slowly and ends up becoming normalized. Write down specific examples of things your partner does that make you feel afraid, nervous, or unhappy on paper. Seeing it in black and white can help bring clarity.
Educating Yourself and Building Support
There are countless books about leaving a relationship, as well as hotlines by professionals who can explain emotional abuse dynamics to you and provide a safety plan, too, if necessary. Reaching out is not a bad option either! So, try joining a support group for survivors of traumatic relationships. Besides, connecting with others who know how this feels could be empowering.
Building Your Escape Route
Safety always comes first. Having somewhere safe to go is crucially important. Talk to trusted friends or family members about staying with them temporarily if they will let you do so. Otherwise, consider researching domestic violence shelters if need be. The key is to keep everything between us – don’t give your partner any inkling about what you’re doing.
Securing Your Digital World
Technology remains one avenue through which an abuser can seek to control his victim. Change all your passwords – email, social media, and bank accounts. While you are getting away, think of having a prepaid phone which will be used for secure communications.
Protecting Yourself and Your Loved Ones
Getting a restraining order against your abusive partner is also something worth considering. This can limit their legal interaction with you and give you peace of mind.
Leaning on the Right People
You are not alone! Share your experience with someone close who would offer you emotional support as well as help in dealing with practical issues that arise from violence in relationships. It could be helpful if you found a therapist who could create a safe space for working through these experiences and developing healthy ways of coping.
The Day of Escape – Calm and Collected Action
Pick a time when the attacker is least likely to be at home. Ask a trustworthy friend or relation to stand by nearby so they can help move your belongings quickly but safely without causing any harm.
Healing and Moving Forward for a Brighter Future
Healing is a process that takes time, so be kind to yourself. The road to recovery will be difficult. However, every single day brings you closer to it and counts as progress. Consider getting professional therapy in order to deal with the emotional after-effects of this traumatic event.